"I love my baby, but..." Many teenage parents have used this statement to describe their situation when they become parents. Teen parents have to walk this line of contradiction when they decide to raise a child. They feel as though they should recognize their choices as a mistake but the baby itself is not. Why is that? Why do so many teens feel that having sex, creating a child, and deciding to raise that child is a mistake? when not too long ago, if a 16 or 17 year old took the same actions, it would have been a delighted decision instead of frowned upon or judged so harshly. Forty, fifty years ago, many teenagers were having sex and having children at young ages and raising their families. But our society today, holds teenage parenting as a shameful act and that our teenagers have a certain path to follow and that they shouldn't turn away from it.
I feel as though teen parents shouldn't have to look at their decisions as a mistake unless it truly was. When two people decide to have sex they should be aware of all the consequences and be ready to handle whatever comes their way physically, emotionally, and financially. So if they do become parents then they won't have to regret their decisions. Our society is to blame for shaming these young parents in doing what they think is best for them in their situations. It should be okay for them to say they made a mistake, they don't like what they did without being judged for it. For the parents having these children, for some it has changed their lives drastically for the better and have helped to actually pursue dreams they never would have before. And for others they run from it. But making the decision to have sex shouldn't be said as a mistake unless they were truly not ready. I feel as though having a child as a teen should be looked at the same. Teen parents should be able to say, "Yes! I had a baby." and be proud of their decisions to do so. It shouldn't have to be one way or the other. They shouldn't have to feel if they have sex and have a child, that their decision is a mistake or wrong in any way, unless they truly as if it is. They shouldn't have to deal with outside participants influencing them to feel a certain way. They may have disappointed people in their families with their decision but if they are truly happy with their decisions then the parents should be allowed to feel that way. To me, teenage parenting is only a mistake if you're not ready and didn't think about your consequences for sex. Its a blessing in disguise, you just have to realize it is.
~Nikki Walton
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
It is worse for the female than the male in a teenage pregnancy
Juno:”are you ashamed that we did it? b/c you don’t have to have the evidence under your sweater!” ***
I just thought I would start with this quote, tried to find a clip of it on YouTube, but it is a great example of the difference between a male and a female in a teenage pregnancy.
Females have much more at risk and to lose wtih a teenage pregnancy. As is evident in the show "16 And Pregnant". Many of the fathers do not stick around, it is easy for them to do so. Unlike the female in the relationship/partnership the male does not have to wear the evidence for 9 months. The female is the one to get stigmatized in the event of a teenage pregnancy. We kind of excuse the guys in the relationship when they are just as involved as the female, we have socially constructed a world so that the males can get away with not having active participation in their child's life. We just need to realize that it takes two to make a child and create a society that realizes that it is not just the female that should be taking on the full responsibility of a child.
We have also made it the females responsibility to prevent pregnancy in my mind by making it so universal and expected that women are on the pill. I have realized that all young men especially expect young women to be on the pill and this therefore gives the man the "option" to not have to use a condom. This is also a hugely socially constructed problem in our society now.
Many of these youth do not realize I think the full extent of what comes along with having these children and the proper way to prevent from having children before they are ready. There just needs to be more contraceptive use in my mind and this will not be possible till these young men and women are comfortable with talking to their parents about it. We need to make it a less tabo subject in my mind, it is something we all do, but we have made it unnatural and scary.
What can we do to make sex less tabo?
Who is to blame for the socially constructed idea of who is responsible for a baby?
Erin Richeson
I just thought I would start with this quote, tried to find a clip of it on YouTube, but it is a great example of the difference between a male and a female in a teenage pregnancy.
Females have much more at risk and to lose wtih a teenage pregnancy. As is evident in the show "16 And Pregnant". Many of the fathers do not stick around, it is easy for them to do so. Unlike the female in the relationship/partnership the male does not have to wear the evidence for 9 months. The female is the one to get stigmatized in the event of a teenage pregnancy. We kind of excuse the guys in the relationship when they are just as involved as the female, we have socially constructed a world so that the males can get away with not having active participation in their child's life. We just need to realize that it takes two to make a child and create a society that realizes that it is not just the female that should be taking on the full responsibility of a child.
We have also made it the females responsibility to prevent pregnancy in my mind by making it so universal and expected that women are on the pill. I have realized that all young men especially expect young women to be on the pill and this therefore gives the man the "option" to not have to use a condom. This is also a hugely socially constructed problem in our society now.
Many of these youth do not realize I think the full extent of what comes along with having these children and the proper way to prevent from having children before they are ready. There just needs to be more contraceptive use in my mind and this will not be possible till these young men and women are comfortable with talking to their parents about it. We need to make it a less tabo subject in my mind, it is something we all do, but we have made it unnatural and scary.
What can we do to make sex less tabo?
Who is to blame for the socially constructed idea of who is responsible for a baby?
Erin Richeson
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Are they "Fit" to be a Mother?
“I was young and dumb” is phrase commonly stated by many older people that describe the silly mistakes that they made as a teenager. It seems as though your teenage years is the time to make careless mistakes. However, if you have a baby you do not have time to make these mistakes. The teen moms on 16 and pregnant believe that they are all of a sudden mature, because they have a baby and that their baby father’s are the ones that are immature. Yes, most of the fathers are immature but so are the moms. The moms are not ready for the responsibility of having a baby.
For example, Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley would get in engaged and then break up, this was a continuing pattern with them. They did not understand the importance of a health relationship or how to have one. Due to the ignorance of how to communicate effectively, Amber physically abused Gary. Amber’s violent behavior resulted in her loosing custody of her daughter, Leah. Amber has also been making immature choices about the men she dates.
Many teenage girls date boys that are not in their best interest. Jenelle Evans is a good example of making bad decisions in the boys she dates. She recently went to jail along with her boyfriend Kieffer for possession of drugs. Jenelle also has an outrageous temper. On one of the episodes of Teen Mom 2 she verbally and physically abused her mother. She recently signed over her rights to her mother, because she knew she was not capable of taking care of a baby.
Even though these teen moms are seen as some of the worse teen moms on 16 and Pregnant, they are not unusual teens. Teenagers have horrible attitudes, because they think they know everything and that adults just do not understand. They are also irresponsible and make careless mistakes, but from these mistakes they learn from them. However, when you have an innocent child’s life that is involved you do not have time to make silly mistakes, such as dating convicted felons. It is important for teenagers to be able to be teenagers and not parents. They need to grow and learn how to be responsible.
- Brittaney Vaughn
Sources:
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Rich Teen Moms.
16 and Pregnant, as well as Teen Mom have both become very popular shows over the past couple of years. Although the shows are very entertaining for the viewers, I was wondering what the teen moms get out of the hit TV show. It turns out that they are paid a great amount of money to be part of the television series. For example, teen mom Amber Portwood was paid $140,000 for a 6 month contract ($280,000 for the whole year.) What kind of message is this sending to teens about getting pregnant? That if you get pregnant you will be on a TV show, become famous, and get paid a ridiculous amount of money? The girls on this show have many problems, but money is obviously is not one of them. This TV show is not showing girls the reality of teenage pregnancy.
Celebrity Kim Kardashian was quoted bashing the show because of the message it sends to young girls. There was a story that 90 girls at a Memphis high school have either gotten pregnant or given birth this year which is extremely shocking, and Kim feels the same way. Kim was quoted saying "shows like Teen Mom are all of a sudden making teen pregnancy seem cool in the eyes of young girls... ." I completely agree with Kardashian. The girls in this show are obviously much better off than other teenagers who have become mothers because they do not struggle financially. In the eyes of the young girls who watch the show teen pregnancy does not appear to have as many consequences, which is definitely not the case. In addition, the teen moms are not learning their lesson or experiencing the reality of being a mom in your teenager years because of the money they have acquired.
I think the show is very entertaining but do not agree with how much the girls are paid or with the unrealistic picture it is painting of teenage pregnancy. Anyone else have thoughts on this subject? Comment and tell me if you agree, disagree, or anything else that's on your mind.
-Alex Antoniou
Sources:
1. http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/amber-portwood-paid-140000-for-six-month-teen-mom-contract-11849.php
2. http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/kim-kardarshian-slams-teen-mom-phenom-2011201
Celebrity Kim Kardashian was quoted bashing the show because of the message it sends to young girls. There was a story that 90 girls at a Memphis high school have either gotten pregnant or given birth this year which is extremely shocking, and Kim feels the same way. Kim was quoted saying "shows like Teen Mom are all of a sudden making teen pregnancy seem cool in the eyes of young girls... ." I completely agree with Kardashian. The girls in this show are obviously much better off than other teenagers who have become mothers because they do not struggle financially. In the eyes of the young girls who watch the show teen pregnancy does not appear to have as many consequences, which is definitely not the case. In addition, the teen moms are not learning their lesson or experiencing the reality of being a mom in your teenager years because of the money they have acquired.
I think the show is very entertaining but do not agree with how much the girls are paid or with the unrealistic picture it is painting of teenage pregnancy. Anyone else have thoughts on this subject? Comment and tell me if you agree, disagree, or anything else that's on your mind.
-Alex Antoniou
Sources:
1. http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/amber-portwood-paid-140000-for-six-month-teen-mom-contract-11849.php
2. http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/kim-kardarshian-slams-teen-mom-phenom-2011201
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